I grew up in a Christian home and I always believed that a God existed, but I never really understood the relationship aspect. When I was a senior in high school I was really struggling to figure out where I wanted to go to school and what I would want to do. Up until then, my main goal had been to just have as good a time as possible without freaking my parents out. In the time leading up to these major life choices, I felt really purposeless. My parents told me that if I went to YWAM to be part of a missionary training program for a few months after high school they would fund the whole thing. I think they were pretty desperate to make sure I would do something other than hanging around after high school graduation.
I went to one of YWAM’s training locations in Tyler, TX and for the first time I heard the voice of God. We had a class on hearing his voice and the whole time I thought they were insane, talking about God like he was a living person, actively engaging with us. They then told us to find a quiet spot, open our Bible, and just read, asking God to reveal His heart to us. I went to a small chapel on the campus and told God that this was crazy but on the small chance it wasn’t, to speak to me when I read. I opened my Bible and it fell open to Romans 1. It talks about how we are CALLED. Called to belong to God and to be his apostles to the world. Not just the missionaries that go overseas, but every believer.
I started crying because in the past few years these are the things I had most desperately wanted to hear from God about; that I belonged and that I had a purpose. After that I started reading my Bible every day, confident that I would hear God speak to me every time and just so excited that God wanted to speak to me! Since then, there have been a lot of really difficult, painful, hopeless times but, my life has changed because now I know what things are eternally true and what things are lies. I am eternally forgiven and God is eternally good and winning. This has changed the way I see myself, others, and especially God.